Time-travel Jokester Prints

Physician tending a mummy.

Airport Security.

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

First Speeding Fine.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

Pamplona bull instructions - Running with the Idiots.

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'Uncle Oog isn't very smart, but he's a lot of fun to play horsie with.'

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

Caveman Dictionaries

Lav-Mummie

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

"Daddy likes to be really... really early for flights."

'Hunting, gathering.... It's so hard to prioritize!'

'Me invent the wheel!'

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'