Time Tinkerers Pillows

Coo Coo Clock

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Clock Shop.

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

Sistine Selfie

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

The Work-from-Home-Polka

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

Innovate or die.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

December 17, 1903: We miraculously devise a craft that can transport human beings though the sky. December 18, 1903: We figure out how to use said craft to kill people.

Remote control car breakdown.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

Solar car with automatic navigation system, automatically choosing sunny routes.

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

". . . And what electricity we don't use we can sell back to the National grid."

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."