Timber Tinker Pillows

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

Drool Marks

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Congratulations on your retirement!

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Waiting for retirement.

Sistine Selfie

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Technology and literature