Timber Tinker Pillows

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Drool Marks

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Sistine Selfie

Waiting for retirement.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives