Tiger-mom Teamster Pillows

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'The butler did it.'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

Silencing the baby

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'It's hard to make you blog interesting when you sleep most of the day.'

Baby Mums.

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"This app helps you create expletives during labor for reproach, vilification and revilement."

Puffy's Safe Travel Inspection Station

Hot trends on the school run. . .

"Next time I get my hair done, don't tell people I was out getting a software update."

'I'm glad she's relaxed, but I'm pretty stressed out.'

'I get no respect!'

"Ta da! It's for Mistress! Overnight, I'll put it on her pillow so that it will be the first present she sees on Christmas Day!"

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

'His Mandarin's OK, but he needs extra tuition in differential calculus.'

"Hi, Honey—what achievements today?"

"What I love about this sport is you can just go anytime you want."

'Don't touch that -- I think it's some sort of art object.'

"Back in my day, we didn't have fancy toys. We just had hair ties."

"Astonish me."

"Just Remember, Sweetie - Fight The Biggest One First."

'I just invented the wheel, and he's already organizing a teamsters union.'

'I just felt it kick again, Charlie - I think he's going to be a football superstar!'

'I'm from Teamsters' Local 972, Ma'am -- we have reports that you've been turning mice into coachmen.'