Tie Connoisseur Gifts

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"It is a nice tie, but it's mine."

"If your tie's too big I can always take it back."

I'm going out Miss Tasket. I have a business lunch.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"1-1"

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Gift"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

Tie Rolls

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'I like to wear women's collars.'

'Johnny, personal feelings like loud neckties and long jokes; best left at home.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

' This is our 'casual dress day'. For the rest of the week they make us wear tuxedos ! '

A stripe of stockbrokers

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Tie-Land.

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

Friendly Tie