Tie Connoisseur Gifts

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"It is a nice tie, but it's mine."

"If your tie's too big I can always take it back."

I'm going out Miss Tasket. I have a business lunch.

"What have you got that says, 'not guilty'?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"1-1"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Gift"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Tie Rolls

A Meeting of Great Ties.

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'Johnny, personal feelings like loud neckties and long jokes; best left at home.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

Friendly Tie

Tie-Land.

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

' This is our 'casual dress day'. For the rest of the week they make us wear tuxedos ! '

Future History Museums

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'