Tidy Beachcomber Gifts

Desert Island Raking

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Desert Island Meals.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Daughters on the beach

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Try me/try me/try me...

Crab with a clown face.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

'It must be the dead sea.'