Tide Challenger Mugs

"I'm gay! I'm gay!"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Lawnmower

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'The grudge match.'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"Tomorrow, we'll take on the tobacco industry."

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Always a bridesmaid..."

*Sigh*

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

'There has to be a wee bit more to tidal power than THAT, Andy.'

Spring cleaning.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"I hope this isn't another one of your crazy bounce-me-off-the-wall ideas."

Careers Advice

A boy boasting of his strength

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

"My paper will revolutionise our perception of core scientific principles..."

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

"Tom, this is an ideas meeting, not a planning meeting."

"Let's do something really different and daring tonight to stimulate our marriage... Tonight I'll wash and you dry!"

"Oh, yeah, tough guy? Well, maybe this is the night I mop up the floor with you."