Ticket Scalper's Nightmare T-Shirts

'All Dressage tickets have gone, but I managed to get two for Beach Volleyball instead.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

Solar Storm Expected!

Meter Maid

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'