Ticket Scalper's Nightmare T-Shirts

'All Dressage tickets have gone, but I managed to get two for Beach Volleyball instead.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Solar Storm Expected!

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

Meter Maid

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

Man has a lot of unpaid traffic tickets.

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'Two for Tomb Raider."

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"