Thumb Theorist Pillows

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Allotment

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

Gardening

Journalist in charge of gardening column has dead plant.

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

"Get your ass back on the road, Pythagoras!"

Luther Burbank

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

'But Mom, if God didn't want us to text message, he wouldn't have given us opposable thumbs.'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

"I'm tired of being Queen. I want to be First Lady."

"Our environmental policy might encourage tree planting. . . . but not in the office."

"Would you please bring the endangered species here a drink?"

Champion gardener.

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

"That's what happens when they get enough water."

"I'll say one thing for you. You've got green fingers."

"I see you've laid out your garden."

'Cool! Thanks to our opposable thumbs, we can send SMS messages...'

Pythagoras Revisited

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

"I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business engaging in combat."