Thrill Seeker Humorist Pillows

Bungee Toilet Flush

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'Fetch.'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'Cannonball!'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

The Runaway Horse

Giraffe Umbrella

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

A caveman paints from life

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.