Thriftiness Gifts

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'I'm learning to make do and mend...'

"i used to bite my fingernails but now I eat them."

'I think I died and came back! There was a brilliant light at the end of a dark tunnel. The last thing I recall is turning if off to save electricity.'

"How many times are you going to try to fix that charger cable with duct tape? It's time to just buy a new one."

"Stop saying you're a fiscal conservative. You're just cheap!"

PoundStore

"Actually, we call these coupons, not 'money saving apps.''

"Duct taping your phone to your head isn't smart, it's being cheap. Go buy a bluetooth."

"This way we save a fortune on the licence fee."

Thrift: 'Instead of a 20 million euro ransom, we're demanding just 19 million!'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Inexpensive organic food! ... Inexpensive organic food!'

Thrift: Pray to a simpler cross.

'So what if he is color blind and can't tell a white from a red--as long as he saves me some green.'

Budget Cremations

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"But I haven't used up my 500 free hours!"

'It's easy to be thrifty, if you're broke.'

'Hanging out at burger shack for 25 years hasn't always been fun, but I've saved thousands in diet orange Fanta costs.'

Thrift: Fat people, wear a dress and a wig and enjoy the benefits of being pregnant.

"I just hope you're satisfied with your new trainers!"

Laundromat has a bin for trash & one for unmatched socks

"Sure, we saved a lot of money, but in hindsight we probably should've seen the surgeon instead of the magician."

Thrift: Save on a christmas tree, move to the woods!

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Back by popular demand, our new regular feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ In today's episode: Free financing. Buy a ham sandwich and pay nothing down and no financing for two weeks. Hmm. And after that? 25 percent interest for two years. or we sue. No that's cheap.

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Second hand furniture.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.