Thriftiness Gifts

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'I'm learning to make do and mend...'

"i used to bite my fingernails but now I eat them."

'I think I died and came back! There was a brilliant light at the end of a dark tunnel. The last thing I recall is turning if off to save electricity.'

"How many times are you going to try to fix that charger cable with duct tape? It's time to just buy a new one."

"Stop saying you're a fiscal conservative. You're just cheap!"

PoundStore

"Actually, we call these coupons, not 'money saving apps.''

"Duct taping your phone to your head isn't smart, it's being cheap. Go buy a bluetooth."

"This way we save a fortune on the licence fee."

Thrift: 'Instead of a 20 million euro ransom, we're demanding just 19 million!'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Inexpensive organic food! ... Inexpensive organic food!'

Thrift: Pray to a simpler cross.

'So what if he is color blind and can't tell a white from a red--as long as he saves me some green.'

Budget Cremations

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"But I haven't used up my 500 free hours!"

'It's easy to be thrifty, if you're broke.'

Thrift: Fat people, wear a dress and a wig and enjoy the benefits of being pregnant.

"I just hope you're satisfied with your new trainers!"

Laundromat has a bin for trash & one for unmatched socks

"Sure, we saved a lot of money, but in hindsight we probably should've seen the surgeon instead of the magician."

Thrift: Save on a christmas tree, move to the woods!

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Second hand furniture.

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Queen of Upcycling!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'