Third Wheel Survivor Pillows

Hey guys, whatcha doin'? Where ya goin'? Can I come? Invention of the third wheel.

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Desert Island BBQ

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

Have Horns Venn

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

'Damn, so close!'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.