Third Wheel Survivor Pillows

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Desert Island BBQ

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Have Horns Venn

In case of stock market crash break glass.

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'Damn, so close!'

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

Road Construction Blues.