Thespian Soul Pillows

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Tabletop Theatre

Henrik Ibsen,

"You've been served."

Harriet Walter

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

Ventriloquist Grave

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"They're texting it in."

"The presenting sponsor of The Dr. Faust Podcast is, as always, Mephistopheles."

Brava

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'How is your degree in theater going to help you here?'

Comedy, Tragedy and News.

Mr and Mrs Bobelescu found their son's attire slightly outre.

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Too Much?

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

18th Century French Gentleman

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

Always stick to the script.

"And where are you swanning off to?"

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck