Therapy Stories Fan Prints

"So, Darling. How long have you had this notion that people are being over friendly with you?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

Sardine psychologist.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

Can I take your disorder?

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Laughter Therapy.

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"You've got a few screws loose."

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"So tell me about your last poop."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

'Could you speak up Mrs Jones, I didn't hear what the problem is...'

'So, tell me about your childhood...'

"When the spoon ran away with the dish, it broke my heart!"

"I can't cure your agoraphobia, Mr Johnson, if you won't come out of your box."

Killing the Client.

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"