Therapy Sessions Explorer T-Shirts

'I feel neglected...you barely pay attention to me anymore. I've become nothing more than your hobby, your plaything. It used to be you couldn't keep your hands off me...'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

'I don't know, doc. I'm okay. It's just that I don't feel as happy as a clam.'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

'I wouldn't worry about a poor sense of direction...'

Tomb with a knight and his psychiatrist.

'You seem pretty wound up today.'