Therapy Session Sage T-Shirts

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Everytime I look at another man he hits the ceiling.'

"Your wife is here to shed some light on your version of the story."

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I have a recurring dream that I have a recurring dream, but I can't remember what it is!"