Therapeutic Humor Fan Pillows

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"You're completely screwed up."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Sardine psychologist.

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"No heroic measures."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

Can I take your disorder?