Therapeutic Entertainment Pillows

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Mathematician on the couch.

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'I'm becoming predictable.'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

'Tell me your name and I'll tell you who you are!'