Therapeutic Entertainment Pillows

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'I'm becoming predictable.'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

Mathematician on the couch.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'