Theories Gifts

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Testing the 'All we can do is sit and wait' theory.

'Did you ever feel like you were just the control in an experiment being carried out on somebody else?'

"Oh dear, they're not as intelligent as we thought."

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

'Oh, it's not a spell -- it's a new economic theory.'

Learning Theory Therapy: Cue/Drive/Response/Reinforcement.

'Doctor Luftkopf is working on a United Field CONSPIRACY Theory.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'...Since the wavefunction can't simultaneously collapse in two distinct places, I conclude that so-called 'doppelg?nger' are not theoretically possible...'

'Thinking about string theory again?'

'Very clever, Gödel — your theory has a built-in disclaimer!'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'

"No offense, Hank, but this parallel universe theory of yours is a little far-fetched."

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

Gregory became an unpopular character after testing his theory that 'all fish could fly'.

"Do you think my followers will mind of 'Martin's Theory of Everything' ends after just three installments?"

CONSPIRACY, INC: 'Right now we're looking for the cryptic message in E.I.E.I. O.'

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

"Mine's bigger than yours."

Little Free Conspiracy Theories

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Math Dreams

Sigmund Freud.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"Bonk!"