Theology School Admission Pillows

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Dogma

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"