Theft Stories Pillows

WANTED The Strad Cad

Spot the difference.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"White Collar Prison"

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Why is it always about me?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Undercover Biophysicists

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Moses as a mobster.

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'