Theatrical Trainer T-Shirts

"Out! Damned Spot!"

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Any questions?"

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Bert's dog training.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

The Witches Discover The Wok

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Hanging off every word...

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Dog stretching before a walk.