Theatrical Performance T-Shirts

“I’m robbing the Sheriff of Nottingham’s coach at ten-thirty. Then yoga at noon. Followed by my bassoon lesson. The baguette is for lunch.”

'Is there a doctor in the house other than Doctor Love?'

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Cimafunk

Tut and Carmen.

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Guitarist

Herman Mankiewicz

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"