Theatre Performer T-Shirts

'Is there a healthcare representative in the house?!'

Swan Lake

Mime marriage.

Phantom of the Punch and Judy Show

Stop that! It's the last time I'll let you play the back legs, Fred Arkwright!

The Lamelight.

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

"Oh how I suffer for my art!"

Baby dressed for the opera.

Silly wig.

Opera singer sat on a sofa.

A man taking a bow

Caped Character

Mouse King with a mask on.

Soldiers approach

'What's so unusual about having to perform to a small house?'

A planet like ours - Panto cow saying "motivation? motivation?"

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

And the die is cast!

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

Stage Sketches - Spanish dancer

Mime Today / The Before Mime

"Seriously? Broadway showtunes?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Didn't we get sopped the last time we went to 'Tony n' Tina's Wedding'?"

"To be honest, I'm getting tired of staging 'Hamlet.'"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"