Theater Debut Gifts

School of Hard Knocks Theater Depts: 'Break a leg!'

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"Just be yourself."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Silly wig.

Piano Recital

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Macbeth: Take Two

Masquerade

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Snail Man

Sumo Love.

Ruff

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Chekov play and scorecard,

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Welsh Dragon

"Please turn on your cell phones."

A Scene From 'Henry V'.

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Larry, did you feel THAT? Your career just peaked! And on MY show! Isn't that fantastic?'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

Getting Published