Theater Crew T-Shirts

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Slip Ahoy!'

'It was great. I hated it.'

Local News in Heaven

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Lifesaver!

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Hollywood producer.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

True Story Movie

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Two reporters interview each other.

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)