The Presentation Perfectionist T-Shirts

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Presentation skills.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'