The Creative Classroom Commander T-Shirts

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Home Schooling'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

Welcome to your new English Class.

Teacher's pet dog

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'That's the bell for round two.'

'...All profits are local.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

Thoughts on Education.

The Ideal Teacher.

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

Back to School

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'