Crafty Commander T-Shirts

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

Sportknitting

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

Woman colouring man's clothes with crayon.

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

USS Party Time.

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

Military Intelligence - Cross word puzzle instead of medal ribbons.

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

'I built the patio out of old newspapers.'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

"I was reluctant at first to let you introduce art classes to the colony, but the morale of my workers and soldiers has definitely improved!"

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Helicopter Mom

Woman Knitting With Her Feet.

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

Row to Row

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

The Rise and Fall of the the Planet of the Geeks.

'He must have crept in at night. The important thing is to stay calm.'

Small boy: 'Now then! All together!'

The Grim Reaper's Robe

'His heels are ruining this deck !'

X-tra Large Pipe Cleaners.

"Overall, your performance review is good, although I wonder if you are taking your job seriously enough."