The Conscious Consumer Pillows

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

But is it organic?

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Gullib-Os

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

CATCHY NAME

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Consumption Graph.

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'

"And getting rarer by the day, madam!"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"