The Aspiring Tenant T-Shirts

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Not to mention the park view."

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

The Day Dreamer.

"I rented out the basement."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Home Sweet Sign

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

'Honey, I'm home.'

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"We need to be careful."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Turtle Eviction

'I like the way his conscience doesn't get in the way of his profit motive.'

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

Frank and I are looking into moving to that new condo that went up next door