The Abstract Adventurer Pillows

'I don't know anything about art and I don't know what I like.'

The experienced backpacker.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'I'm in my Blue period.'

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Pina Coladas

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Crab with a clown face.

Face painting by numbers.

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Shoot For The Moon

Imagine

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

Man Lifting Heavy Block

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Abstract expressionist face painting.

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

Farmer's Market.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'