The 3 Stooges Aficionado Gifts

Female Fans of the 3 Stooges Convention.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Editor.

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"What's the big idea comin' in late, Cratchit?..."

'What a little beauty. Independent suspension, alloy wheels, metallic finish.'

"Legal is concerned you made up your 'True Life' adventures."

The Moe Howard Installation

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

Literary Advice

"Dear Author: Your novel is incomparably brilliant! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for incomparably brilliant novels at this time."

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all,'

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'I've been working on this novel since I was 10 years old.'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"I knew it. All Shemp episodes."

Karen of Bethlehem

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

Jonah's editor.

'Your proposed novel isn't quite right for us...but have you tried the trash bin down the street?'

'Hooray! - My Three Stooges DVD's are here!'

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

'The last one. I feel like a bit of culture.'

The Three Stooges Pop-Up Book

I heard Chelsea Clinton is considering running for the Senate in 2020. Holy Moes-es! The last thing Democrats need is to run another corporate Democrat anti-progressive stooge who's trading off a famous name! You're being too hard on Chelsea. I'm sure she's highly ... wait ... did you say "holy moses" or "holy moes-es?" I've never believed in the bible. But I do believe in The Three Stooges. Chelsea won a lifetime achievement award for ... whatever it is she did.