Thanksgiving Traditionalists Pillows

Grace For Flies

Elfie Stick

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Trick or Tweet

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Room for bigger presents."

"God, I hate theme dinners."

Turkey With All the Trimmings

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

Give Thanks.

Elephant Upgrade

"Your daddy had all the trimmings, son, our nation's highest honor."

"I want my job back."

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

Angry Santa Letter

Who goes there - young Turk or old guard?