Thanksgiving Masterminds Pillows

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

"Try thinking about something else."

Turkey Autopsy

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Thanksgiving.

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence downed set free the first turkey he sees."

Dog pointing to turkey who stole his dog cone.

'You know why Pilgrim's pants fall down? They wear their buckles on their hats.' Where Light and Dark Meat Comes From.

I agree that every new day we get from here is an unexpected gift, but let's not say "It's all gravy from here."

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

'Oh, please... You call that a genocide?'

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

"Actually, the attraction wasn't freedom from religious persecution but, rather, the all-you-can-eat buffet."

"I told you streaking at Wimbledon was a terrible idea!"

'Don't worry. I'm just going to take a little off the top.'

'Tom, I think you better rearrange your tail feathers.'

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

The first super committee.

A thanksgiving dinner in a boxing ring

'Mr. President, keep in mind that with Thanksgiving fast approaching, you are permitted to give yourself a Presidential Pardon. It doesn't mean however, that you can spend the rest of your term living on a farm in the country.'

Turkeys wearing top saying 'I'm with yummy'.