Thanksgiving Masterminds Pillows

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

"Try thinking about something else."

Turkey Autopsy

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Turkey Autopsy

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

"Actually, the attraction wasn't freedom from religious persecution but, rather, the all-you-can-eat buffet."

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

'Oh, please... You call that a genocide?'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

'Don't worry. I'm just going to take a little off the top.'

"I told you streaking at Wimbledon was a terrible idea!"

'Tom, I think you better rearrange your tail feathers.'

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

A thanksgiving dinner in a boxing ring

The first super committee.

'Mr. President, keep in mind that with Thanksgiving fast approaching, you are permitted to give yourself a Presidential Pardon. It doesn't mean however, that you can spend the rest of your term living on a farm in the country.'

Turkeys wearing top saying 'I'm with yummy'.