Mischievous Masterminds Pillows

"Assuming your parents check your browsing history, let's mess with them a little. . . H-A-R-V-A-R-D T-U-I-T-I-O-N."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

A thief steals a heart

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"...and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!"

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

HisssssHerssss....

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

"I told you streaking at Wimbledon was a terrible idea!"

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

'I think you mean my alleged pranks in class.'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'