Thanksgiving Historian Pillows

Pilgrim settler blows smoke signals from his pipe, which are insulting to an Indian brave.

'Boy, that is one old Turkey.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Plymouth Rock

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Beauty and the Baste

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

A football player catching a turkey

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

Gramps shows the kids HIS favorite stuffed animal.