Texting Wizard T-Shirts

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

Oymoticons

'Hmm, let's see...the skittish are combing? The finnish are gumming? The yiddish are humming?'

"You misspelled 57 words out of 80. This was a book report, not a text message."

Can Megan come out and text?

"No texting, no holding a cellphone, no drinking. What is it they expect us to DO in a car?!"

"Please remember to text me to remind me to check my email, in case someone's sent me a direct message about my blog."

"Click heels... needed ASAP... in Kansas."

"I was going to text you that you'v lost all your retirement savings, but there isn't an emoji for that."

"Always blame your mistakes on autocorrect and watch out for that tree."

"I hope you don't think I'm the type of girl who would look up from her phone on the first date."

'Wait, someone just sent me a hex message.'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

"My client promises to limit his use of using only an emoji to answer all his texts. He will make an effort to use actual words."

Your keyboarding skills are excellent, but what really impressed us is your text messaging speed!

'Don't worry, she's just playing hard to text,'

''Speak'? -- Okay, but I'd really rather text.'

'You're entitled to one text message, 160 characters max, so you better make it count.'

'Don't worry if you fail the spelling test. Nobody spells when they text.'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

''Whassup? Got no mates ugly?' - ha ha very funny.'

They're slashing the school budget. Our bus route's on the chopping block! Text the governor and demand funding. Tap. Text. Tweet. Tap. Twitter. The governor is responding. Kids spend too much time online. Walking will be good for them! The revolution is postponed.

Your texts are filled with abbreviations I don’t understand, Axel. For instance, my best guess is that "ROTFLMAO" means "rubbing out the fleas laminating medicinal animal ointment."

"Oh, my God! Autocorrect just made me break up with you."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'You're texting? Wait--'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."