Texting Humorist Gifts

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Catroom.

"It's a 'selfie.'"

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

Better Living Through Technology

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Can you do anything else?'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

The First Selfie!

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

"Er, sorry guys. It didn't look this big on instagram!"

'He's our Spam expert!'

'Another failure to communicate?'

'If we are to have effective communication with our partner organisations, it's probably best if we do not use text messaging.'

"There's no such thing as a stupid question -- There are, however, stupid Google searches."

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

Spam Folders

"Stop saying 'Content is King'!"

"Look at the bright side, you finally have followers."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Why do I always get un-friended? I'm a nice troll.'