Text Message Translator Gifts

"Hey, Bill. When you're done with that terror threat, can you help me decipher my kid's text message?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Polly txt speak

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

The Family Joules: Part 6

Moo Out Loud

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

Jorge Luis Borges

WTF?

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

East End Maps.

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.