Testosterone Chaser Mugs

'Heaven forbid you need them, but this model's air bags are breast shaped.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

Early Exercise Machines

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'What about the cholesterol?'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

Happiness

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

Ski-ball.

'Whoever said 'taking part is better than winning' was certainly a loser...'

"Of all the times to stall."

Cosmic Ray

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

World Cup Fever

'My video screen just changed to the Daytona 500.'

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'When it comes to skiing, Edwin doesn't seem to know the word 'patience'.'

'CD's: Manufactured pop groups as seen on tv!'

Clipping

'Hey we just hit our sales goal...for 1978.'

I live for SPEED!

"Am I not being funny enough?"

Perpetual Motion.

Robert Smith

"Your cousin Hernando is such a handful! He's been walking ever since he was ten months old!"

Metaphor for Life Gym. Which will it be? Running in place or spinning your wheels?