Test-taking Survivor Pillows

New for parents with college-bound kids: SAT sample-test toilet paper.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I really crammed last night.'

Good Luck in your Exams.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

Examinations.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"You've passed with extinction!"

'The penguin is upset...'

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'

"In a multiple choice exam if in doubt always go for D, because that's about what grade you'll end up with!"

Undergraduate and don

I had my eyes dilated.

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

"If you're so wise, why won't you tell anyone your SAT scores?"

Math Class. Rm 217. I don't know how many time I've failed a math test.

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

Medical Treatment.

Exam Nerves.