Terrible Twos Survivors Pillows

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'I'll call you Friday, there's a one in seven chance that's the right day of the week.'

"She does this when she's tired."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'He's doing it again.'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"Maybe we should follow that guy..."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

Our Summer Fantasy

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

'Tsk - he will keep throwing things out of the buggy.'

Hillary knew to not get too excited about being in remission since bad news could again come out of nowhere.

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

Robot Bores

"Of course we'll still be friends...."

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

"I'd invite you in, but I'm still cleaning up a few remnants from my previous relationship."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

'Call the shrink. Herold's experiencing his first case of rug rage!'

"When he decided to take an early retirement, I took an early divorce."

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

"Hey, isn't that your "ex" over the road?"

Yomp' career cut short by beanball!

"I've learned to live with the ever-present specter of death, but mostly because it's started chipping in for rent."

The Beginning of One of Those Days

'As we parted, my hubby said that he couldn't live without me. . . I asked him to do the honourable deed.'

"Well, your mother did warn us about the terrible twos."

'Thought he was God's gift to women. Fortunately, I was able to re-gift him.'

"The neck cone bothers you? But you knew I was obsessive before we dated."