Tenured Professor Pillows

'I can't divorce me, I have tenure.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thinking Gears

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

U of Debt

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

Bearded Leftie.

Subatomic particles

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

The Giamatti era

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.