Tempted Dieter Pillows

Looks like all the months of dieting were now in vain...

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Shrink

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Woman and scales.

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'