Temperature Stickler Gifts

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"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"The best thing about my promotion? I'll be in charge of the thermostat."

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

A clerk misunderstanding the use of a thermometer.

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

'No hitting below the belt.'

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

'I like this guy. He's not the best worker but here, but one of the few who doesn't complain about the office temperature!'

'Typos, this article of your has too many errors in it.'

". . . So what's with bosses these days? It seems like I can never find a good one."

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

'Oh maaaan. Not again!!'

'You stink! You missed that encroachment call with 15 seconds left.'

"I forgot to turn the thermostat up."

'RETIRED CEO? I expressly told them to refer to me as ‘Former Strongman.''

'For snoring?! Hell, that's nothing'. I once shot a man for ending sentence in a preposition.'

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

'Bavetta! The foul is called 'holding.' Stop calling it 'touchy-feely.''