Temperamental Painter Gifts

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I'm in my Blue period.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Jackson Pollock as a child

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"Today we're going to explore in paint how we feel when we're picked up late from preschool."

Symbolism for Artists

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"there's an app for that."

Wallpapering 5

Painting.

"Pfft. Derivative."

'Apparently all my creative juices have seeped into the left side of my brain.'

'Cut it out!'

"Paint and a brush? You're so old fashioned, dad! C'mon, I'll show you how to use graphics software!!"

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'You have to do that chair again. You got the paint on upside down.'

'I played around with acrylics for about a minute, but now I work exclusively with food.'

Angel kicked out of heaven, sent to Hell, on basis of 'creative differences.'

Gone, but never forgotten.

Angelic Wine

"This is all still just SO disturbing."

Blind Musician/Deaf Artist

"My job is in finance. This is just my hobby."

"Your swing's improving but we still need to work on your grip."

Drunk man thrown out of bar

'Bruce, I've painted my body.'

Trilby - 'Repentance'

"O.K., Mr Tuttle—describe your pain."