Telly Enthusiast Trying To Get Fit Gifts

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV-Man

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

TV jester.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

Child hooking into a television

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'