Telephone Usage Gifts

"It's the anti-doping agency. Did you take any banned substances while breaking the world record for number of hours on hold?"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Modern Narcissism

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

A senior moment.

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

Pizza Delivery Delays

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

Call centre musicians

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Evolution

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'