Telephone Culture Pillows

Death: 'Let it ring.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

A senior moment.

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Call centre musicians

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

Hello, 911? … The pizza place isn't answering their phone!!

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

"He'll come to eat when he can interrupt dinner. He's playing telemarketer."

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

Woman dresses up to talk to a suitor on the phone.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Alexander Graham Bell - invents the telephone and makes the first 1900 call.

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"Baldo, let everyone know that Tia Carmen is in the hospital!"